A Family Restored

(Testimony by a CK in Canada)

Bob and I had been married for 16 years when the day came that he informed me he wanted a divorce. Our marriage had been rocky; the abuse was verbal on both our accounts, and our three sons had been witness to much of it.

On this particular day, all three boys had attended the last day of Vacation Bible School and had gone with our pastor’s family to the lake, leaving Bob and me at home alone. The date was August 15, 2003 and I can only say that this was the day I came to the end of myself. In the sixteen years of our marriage, I had managed to put up a wall between God and myself. A wall I had only recognized being there five months earlier, at a church retreat that my husband and I attended. I tried to pray through this wall, but it was too big for me. Satan had more control over that wall being there than I would acknowledge.

When Bob said the words, “I want a divorce,” many things happened. First of all, I broke down in a way that I had never done before. But concurrently,  I reached out and God was there. In my pain, I felt enveloped in a wave of love I had never experienced prior to this day. The year that followed, for me, was a year of prayer, discovery of a true relationship with Jesus, and a year of God placing the right Christians in my path. I became best friends with a wonderful lady, Virginia, who I knew was in a similar circumstance and together we joined Covenant Keepers, which had been suggested to her by her pastor.

Before learning about Covenant Keepers, it had never even occurred to me to stand for my marriage. In fact, my mind was already considering pursuing other relationships. When I was told about standing I remember thinking, “I can do that!” In fact, I didn’t move out of our home right away. I actually moved out September 30, 2004, a week after returning from my first Covenant Keeper’s retreat.

As soon as the retreat was over, the enemy got a hold of my mind and began speaking his lies. I knew enough to pray, if nothing else. I prayed for guidance and discernment and continually received the message, “patience and perseverance.” Because I didn't totally understand what the Lord was saying to me, I just began to pursue a deeper relationship with Him, hoping that I would eventually understand. I attended countless Bible studies, was baptized, and became a member of the church I was attending. But most importantly, I spent many hours in prayer. Because I was pursuing a relationship with Jesus, I was not lonely and in time, God made it evident to me that His plan for me was to stand.

During one prayer time, I recall pleading with God, “How long?” The response I received was “nine.” The questions flooded my mind. Nine weeks? Nine Months? Nine years? I didn’t know. Nine months later, I became very depressed because I had wrongly convinced myself that it meant nine years.

Reconciliation became an obsession for me. Thank God, it finally came to an end one day when I was praying with my pastor's wife. When we were done praying, I looked up and she was in tears. When I asked her why, she seemed confused and said, “By now we should be seeing some signs (of reconciliation) don't you think?” Looking at her, she was as distraught as I used to be and at that moment, I remember calmly saying, “God told me it would be nine.”

In 2008, I began requesting prayer for reconciliation, in general, during our prayer time in our Sunday service. Soon after, I started noticing reconciliation between Bob and our youngest son. Soon after that, Bob started calling. We hadn’t spoken much in about a year. In October of that year, I attended another Covenant Keeper’s retreat. As the worship team lead us in praise and worship, I could really feel God’s presence. I stood in expectation and after years of hearing “patience and perseverance” I heard what I had been waiting for; “soon.” I remember being all excited and thinking I needed to do something to make this happen. Very clearly, I then remember feeling God’s disapproval. I was to do nothing.

In January 2009, the woman Bob had been living with moved out of our home. I prayed for guidance. I wanted to invite him to our church Bible study, but I didn’t want to interfere with God’s plans. When I took a chance and trusted the Holy Spirit in me, I invited Bob and he accepted. At our first week at Bible study, I got a pleasant surprise from the Lord. Bob introduced me to the others as his wife. He told them, that reason he was there was to make things right between us. This was the first time I had heard him voice any hope.

Eventually, we started counseling with our pastor. In September, Bob asked me to move back into our home. I did so on September 28, 2009, five years after I had moved out; the ninth month of 2009. THERE WAS THE NINE, God was speaking to me about. On October 10 of that same year, we renewed our wedding vows. Our oldest son, Rob and his girlfriend came from Winnipeg. Our son, Gordon came from Edmonton. Our youngest son, Warren, my mother, and my brother also attended. We agreed we wanted to keep it very small. The day was very emotional. Our son Gordon, my mother, and my brother were all very skeptical of what was happening, but I knew better. God was making good on his promise to me.

Since the renewal of our vows my mother and brother have come to accept Bob back into our lives. Gordon was home for Christmas in 2010 and for the first time he seemed like his old self. God has been working miracles in our lives, bringing us all back together and we praise and thank Him for all He has done.

Bob and I continue to attend Bible study and he operates the sound system at our Sunday service. Each week, I request prayers for reconciliation, knowing that there is more to come. Because of my consistency and the work God has done in my life, I’m known as “The Reconciliation Lady”  at church. How funny is that? Reconciliation is in my DNA and I continue to claim it for myself and others, in Jesus' name.

UPDATE: Bob and I celebrated 6 years back together on the day my son Gordon was married. All 3 of my sons are now married. I have 1 grandchild and am expecting to meet 2 more in June. God has been wonderful.