Dear New Stander

By; Sylvia De Freitas, Assistant Group leader
Dear Friend,
We can feel your pain. We thank God that you were able to find and contact us here at Covenant Keepers. You should know firsthand, that we are a family and you can be sure that we are praying for you and for your spouse.

Oftentimes, we hear things like “I am feeling empty, hurt, humiliated and angry. I just want to leave everything behind and go somewhere and start all over. Why do I have to pray for my husband who did all those things to me? He is enjoying life while I am the one suffering. If God does hate divorce why did He allow this to happen? I am tired of being the good spouse and merely existing. Don’t I deserve better?”

I want to assure you that God’s Word doesn’t change and His promises are "Yes and amen." Think about this for a moment.....the Son of God experienced all the things that we as standers have. Just like you've probably felt, Jesus was humiliated, but He forgave those who sought to make Him small. He prayed for those who came against Him. He was angry when His holy temple was being misused and He probably felt empty hanging on the cross wondering where His good Father was in the midst.

All sorts of emotions rise within us when “life isn’t fair.” In part, you are asking, “How do we deal with these emotions?” Know that our source of life and strength comes from our Savior, Jesus Christ, and we need to cling to Him. Pray to our Lord and Savior and ask Him to help you with whatever you need. Be quick to forgive. It is absolutely essential to this journey. Take things day by day and try to not get ahead of what God is doing in your life. It’s not easy, but I promise you it’s worth it. When you really trust God, He will start changing you first.

Permit God to heal you. Permit Him to make you a new person in His image. It’s a process and it takes time, but you will become a strong Christian full of wisdom and knowledge if you permit God’s awesome grace to flow through you. God loves marriages and He created marriages to last until death. It breaks God’s heart when marriages break apart. You are not alone, dear friend, as God is on your side. God is a restorer. He creates new things out of something old and broken and you will see them if you do not give up.

The weapons we fight with are not carnal (disputes, quarrels, accusations, etc.). Our weapons are spiritual: prayers, fasting and God’s Word. It’s God’s way. We sometimes (maybe even many times) get desperate because “nothing seems to be happening in the timing we hope for or expect.” But God! We have to walk by faith and not by sight (what we hear, see or others tells us about our spouse). Believe God. He is more than able to change your situation.

Continue to pray and do good, and in due time you will reap your harvest. If you don’t pray for your husband, who will? When we made our vows we said, “in good times and in bad times.” It is in these difficult times that our vow to our spouse has great value. We must be different than the world because we walk in His light.

We, as believers of Yeshua, must trust Him in the good and the bad times. Start to spend more time in His Word. Praise Him more. Pray in the spirit. Memorize His word. Be involved with a CK group – local or online. And most importantly, “zip your lips.” Be still, wait on the Lord and let God work it out.

I have listened to many testimonies of restored marriages. They always say, “my marriage is better now than it was then.” Both you and your spouse deserve better. The secret is that when we pray we, find that God will change us first and then our spouse.

Keep the faith.

Don’t quit.

Stand strong and you will see God’s salvation.

Much Love,
Your CK Family

Sylvia was born (and currently lives) on the beautiful island of Curaçao. She is oldest of the three siblings and at the age of 16, got to know her husband for the first time. A year later, her husband shared the good news of Jesus with her. They got married 3 years later in 1994. They have two sons, Timothy (25) and Matthew (19). Sylvia attended her first CK Conference in 2012 and has attended every year since, but one (2018). She is believing and trusting God for the restoration of her marriage and many more marriages to come. She now considers CK her family.

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