A New Look at Your Real Enemy (Part 2)
To get you up to speed…
Our marriage had come under fierce attack involving my husband’s infidelity and my resulting emotional breakdown. At a crisis point, my husband had answered my emotional plea for help with a promise to do whatever it took to make our marriage whole again. But what was even more important, God had made a promise, too, that would make all the difference.
Now began the long road back…
Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purposes for them." (NLT) I knew, after reading this verse, that God didn't cause my ordeal (it was our sin that did), but that He would use it to show others that He is real. My hope in the Lord was sparked again. I couldn't contain my joy over knowing that God Himself would help me get through this. And that He would also use me and my situation to point the world to His glory and goodness.
When my husband made his promise to keep our marriage together, he meant it. But what we didn’t fully understand at the time is that Satan hates for us to make promises and will do all in his power to make us break them. So if you don't recognize that Satan and his army are a real force in this world, it's easy to blame either marriage partner when promises are broken.
Trying hard to keep his promise, my husband quit his old job and found a new one, splitting his time between working at home and traveling.
I can see now how God actually turned my husband’s travel into something good for us. We were together and apart. Together just enough to start re-building, but not so much that we overwhelmed each another. What DIDN'T happen was us working on the marriage putting Christ in the middle. What DID happen was that we ignored the elephant in the room and kept on going. Satan was able to deceive each of us independently into believing that talking about the issues in our marriage would do more harm than good.
We spent the next four years watching our problems rear their ugly heads and then be beaten down into submission by our unwillingness to bring them to Jesus. We never talked about the affair. We never talked about what led to it. We never talked about the issues that had been there since before we got married. We just didn't talk.
Inevitably, when January 20, 2012 came, Satan had us RIGHT where he wanted us - blaming each another and not realizing where the rightful blame should have fallen, on the Kingdom of Darkness. That day, after traveling home from a business trip, my husband asked for a divorce and moved out of our home a few days later.
I remember praying during our time of separation, that my husband would begin to understand what a hold on our lives we were allowing Satan to have. I know that might seem like a strange prayer, but without the knowledge of the enemy, how can we fight back? And I also remember the day that that prayer was answered. We were discussing a financial issue when it finally dawned on my husband that it was truly Satan who was not only trying to keep us from our blessing, but also getting us to disagree and retreat back to our separate corners. Although the conversation was serious, I was secretly praising God for getting through to my husband’s heart and allowing him to see the real enemy. This was the beginning of the end; the end of the enemy's blatant and ridiculous interference in our lives.
If you are not sure you believe in the existence of Satan and want to find out more, I encourage you to start with these helpful Scriptures:
- John 10:10
- 2 Corinthian 11:14
- Hebrews 2:14
- Revelation 12:9
- Acts 26:18
I then, encourage you to spend quiet time alone with God and ask Him what He wants you to know about Satan. Maybe it's to show you how Satan has poked holes in your marriage. Maybe God wants to bring you out of the darkness and show you how His light can transform your life. He may even want to warn you, like He did me, that trials are on their way and you need to start praying.
If your church doesn't believe in the existence of Satan or refuses to talk about it, I encourage you to seek out a church that does. They will be better equipped to help you understand how to fight the enemy and amplify God in your life. Most church websites have a section that is called "About Us" which should contain a Statement of Faith. Although it might not speak directly about the existence of Satan, the Statement of Faith will give you a clearer idea of what that church believes and stands for.
I believe that the enemy wants to keep you and your spouse captive. The less you know about your enemy, the more chance he has to destroy you and your marriage. Consider praying a daily prayer of repentance, both for you and your spouse. Then cover yourself with the blood of Jesus and the armor that has been given to us (Ephesians 6:10-17).
Today, my husband and I know who our enemy is. It's not each other. It never was. We were restored in 2013 and have continued since, on our full path of restoration. When problems arise, we are now able to pray together and defend ourselves and our family against the only true enemy we have.
I see how God has refined me through the fire.
I see how my faith has grown.
I see how He has used me, my husband, and our trials to give other people hope for their own marriages.
I am in constant awe of who God is. How good He is. He never left me. And although I strayed many times, I learned to know His voice and how to follow it. And, thankfully, it usually only takes a moment for me to identify the voice of the enemy in my head and to know what to do when I hear it. I take that thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5) and tell my mind to obey the only voice that matters - the voice of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
I am praying for you today, my friend. I am praying that God guides you with His word, just as He did with me. I pray that you will spend some quiet time with Him, listening for His voice. And ultimately, I am praying that you have learned who your real enemy is. You have it in you to fight. God has given you everything you need. Praise Him coming and going. Give Him all the glory, even before the battle has been won.
Deana is currently one of the Directors of Covenant Keepers, International. She graduated from the Dove School of Leadership through Chesapeake Bible College and received her Pastor's license in 2019. Previously she and her husband, Koji, served as the Mid-West Regional Directors of Covenant Keepers and as small group leaders in that area. She has a degree in Secondary Education as well as experience in counseling from a biblical standpoint. For the last 20 years, she has also served her family as a stay-at-home mom and homeschool teacher.
She is passionate about having a relationship with Jesus and the Holy Spirit. She has seen many miracles in her life as well as in the lives of the people around her. At her core, she is an encourager and disciple of Christ, spending most of her days ministering to people and digging into the Word. She also speaks at conferences, loves to write, and teach the Word of God. She and her family currently live and attend church in the Charlotte, NC area.
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Powerful testimony. Thank you for standing for your marriage. I stood for mine for 20 years but unfortunately, my husband didn't get right with God until he was dying. He went home to heaven at a young age.....but he made it in. He never made it right with me, but I know when we see each other again, he will and we will be brother and sister in Christ forever. I would do it again and still pray for other marriages to be healed. Only God can do that. Blessings!
Sandy, Thank you for sharing your story with us!!! I am so sorry that restoration didn't happen until that point. You know that is never God's intention. However, I am SO ENCOURAGED that you and your husband will be reunited in Heaven someday. Praise God!!! I stand with you and your uplifting, positive attitude