The 3 Things That Separate Us From God’s Truth

The 3 Things That Separate Us From God’s Truth

As the words left my mouth, I could hardly believe I was actually saying them out loud. “I want a divorce…” After a long silent pause, I said it again. My wife asked me for the third time if I really meant what I was saying. I thought about it again and delivered it this time with more emphasis on the “I want” part.

Looking back on it now from a lens of a restored marriage, I can share with you that the good Lord must have fully healed me from the anger that existed back then. Other prodigal spouses that I have spoken to also share a similar situation where they can hardly remember the details of that period in life when they “entered the wilderness” of separation and divorce. As a preview to your own restoration, let me be a testimony that when God fully restores your marriage, your prodigal spouse will have only a vague remembrance of that difficult season. That is a good thing!

What I do vividly remember was that in that moment of telling my spouse three times that I wanted a divorce …I was feeling compassion. Before you tear your robes, click the X button on your browser and cancel your membership to Covenant Keepers, give me a few more paragraphs to explain. I promise you; I will help you unlock the mind of a prodigal spouse and it might just help you to target some new prayers that you haven’t prayed before.

I say compassion because in that exact slice of time, I knew that I had hurt my wife. I was far from the husband that I wanted to be and knew she deserved. In my flesh, I wanted a life with no accountability, no rules, and no one to answer to. And when I came to that flash realization that I was being truly selfish, and that all I was offering to my wife was continuous pain and strife, I actually felt like the most compassionate thing I could do was to set her free so that she could eventually find a new husband who was more compatible with her and could make her happier than I could.

At the time, divorce seemed like a very viable option. I rationalized that if 50% of marriages ended in divorce then I was just like everyone else. The world showed me that lots of people get divorced and remarried and those people looked fine to me. Sure, the kids had two sets of parents and they had to switch between houses every week, but it would all work out. I didn’t know it at the time but I was making agreements with the world’s point of view and I was capable of bending it any way that suited me. I needed to feel justified with my decision to get divorced.

Again, only from the perspective of having a restored marriage, can I now see where the enemy was having a field day with me. I was convinced at the time that my wife was not for me and she was acting against me. I listened to a voice that told me she did not appreciate me or respect me. I heard all her cries of not feeling close to me as accusations against me for not being a good husband. Probing questions from my wife such as “What’s wrong?” or “You seem distant” sounded like “I don’t trust you” and “You are not good enough.”

There are 3 things that continuously try to separate your prodigal spouse from God’s truth. They are:

  1.  the flesh,
  2. the world,
  3. and the enemy.
Now you may be able to see how I could be so deceived as to think I was being "compassionate" by telling my wife I wanted a divorce. I was separated from God’s truth and could not hear from Him at all. Let me help unpack this for you.

  • In my flesh, I was being selfish. I didn’t want any accountability for anything.
  • I was listening to the world telling me that not only may divorce be a viable solution,  it may also be an ideal answer.
  • I was listening to the accusations of the enemy and replaced my wife’s caring words with his accusations.

When your prodigal spouse has all 3 of these conditions firmly in place like I did, it is no wonder that they cannot hear from the Lord. They are separated from God’s truth. Here is the hard part. Because of this, they need your help.

Believe me, I realize the gravity of what I am asking, but I ask anyway. If not you, then who? Who will pray for your spouse who is so far from God without even knowing it? If you don’t do it, they may wander the wilderness for the rest of their lives, living in complete deception, thinking that they did something for your good rather than disobeying God’s calling for their lives.

Here is how you pray for them:

  • First, pray for their salvation. Even if they are professed Christians. Even if they go to church. Pray first that they will accept Jesus Christ as their Savior.
  • Once they have accepted Christ, pray they would allow the blood of Jesus to be enough. In order for your prodigal spouse to break free of their own flesh, they have to come under the lordship of Jesus (and not you).
  • Pray that they will fix their eyes on Godly measures and not  this world. Pray that they will receive a Father’s blessing. Even if their earthly father has passed away, God can use anyone in His Kingdom to impart a Father’s blessing on them. Once they have taken hold of how their heavenly Father sees them, no earthly measure of success will matter.
  • Lastly, pray that your spouse is hidden from the enemy. As you and your spouse are one, you will need to intercede for them and create spiritual barriers between them and enemy spirits. Creating even just a brief pause from enemy attacks will allow them to think more clearly and perhaps, even hear from the Lord. (Side note: There are powerful prayers taught by some of our leaders to conduct spiritual warfare against harmful spirits. If you are new to this, join one of our video conference-based small groups and we will teach you how to do this.)

It’s hard to hear but somewhere deep inside the mind of your prodigal spouse is the person God made them to be and the person you fell in love with and married. Their flesh, the world and the enemy are all working together to suppress your spouse’s soul and keep them separated from God’s truth.

Be encouraged. Scripture is clear.

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”Romans 8:38-39 NIV

While they may be separated from God’s truth, they are never outside of God’s love. God will relentlessly pursue them. I know, because He did this for me. Jesus sent countless godly men into my life. And as my wife’s Covenant Keepers group prayed that I would be hidden from the enemy, I had just enough break from the devil’s accusations to pick up a Christian devotional book and begin my journey towards salvation.

I pray that you, too, will have compassion for your prodigal spouse. Imagine being separated from God’s truth. That is a bad place to be. Pray to remove those things that separate them from God’s truth and pray your spouse right out of deception.
Koji Bell is a Co-Director of Covenant Keepers, Inc. together with his wife Deana. Koji started his married life like many others. He focused on climbing the corporate ladder, tried to achieve financial success, served on leadership teams at church and worked to be the best husband and father he could be. After being hit by a drunk driver, life spun out of control and his marriage went in crisis. Then he chose to surrender his life to Jesus and everything changed. Today, Koji walks in victory humbled by his call to ministry and this new season of abundant blessing and service. Koji is a licensed Pastor and is a graduate of Dove | Hopewell School of Ministry.

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